Chasing Dreams
By Susan Richmond
Meggie Johnson entered the conference room holding the blueprints for the Henderson Hotel project. “Sorry I’m late,” she said.
“It’s okay,” Jake Said. “Chase arrived only a few minutes ago.”
She turned her head and gazed at the tall, lean man wearing khaki-colored Dockers and a navy blue Polo shirt. His radiant blue eyes set symmetrically on his tanned, chiseled face, mesmerized her.
“Hello, Meggie,” the man spoke.
Her wholesome good looks kept him staring. The dusty rose of her high cheeks turned a deeper shade the longer he looked. She bit her lip to hide its tremor.
“Chase,” she finally said as the blueprints fell from her trembling hands. He rushed towards her and picked the papers up.
“Here,” he said, his voice charismatic even on simple words.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, her face flaming red. The meeting started, but Meggie’s thoughts were not on renovating the Henderson Hotel. Why did Chase return from Europe now? After three years, hope of his returning had dwindled to nothing more than a childhood dream of sleeping on a cloud. Yet here he was sitting in front of her.
“What do you think?” Jake asked.
“Sure,” she said.
“Okay, then. Report to the hotel tomorrow morning and Chase will give you all the details. See you later, Chase,” Jake said.
“What did I do?” Meggie mumbled.
“Looks like we’ll be working together, again,” Chase said, raising his eyebrows.
“Uh-huh.” She busied herself with putting estimates into a binder and rolling the blueprints.
“Your ideas are incredible.” His warm glance over her supple body left her weak in the knees. She prayed he left soon. “See you tomorrow,” he said with a wink that filled her with dread. One glance at his warm smile left her intoxicated beyond comprehensible speech. To work with him meant the past would pounce upon her.
Minutes passed in silence but not without memories filling spaces they had long ago evacuated. “One look, the sound of his voice, and being beside him brought it all back. And now I have to work with him. How did this happen?”
“One day you’ll thank me,” Jake said standing by the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest. How she wanted to wipe the grin off his round face. He moved closer to the conference table where Meggie stood, shoving folders into her leather bag. “Does he know?” he asked.
“No, but now thanks to your scheme, he’ll find out.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
A frustrated sigh escaped. “Jake, I’m in no mood to discuss this.”
“Do you want me to assign this job to someone else?” he asked with understanding.
A simple solution to this dilemma, but she had started the Henderson project and wanted to finish it. “Thanks, Jake, but no. I’ll handle this. Promise.”
“Okay,” he said looking into her dark brown, oval-shaped eyes filled with sadness and longing. “Meggie, he has every right to know.”
“He walked away,” she said, her voice starting to tremble.
“You didn’t give him the chance to make a different decision.”
Her heart sank deeper into her stomach, making a huge grumble. No matter how many times she had this conversation with herself, it always ended the same. Chase’s plans involved Europe, not Granite Falls and those he left behind. She hoped in the short time he stayed, the past remained where it belonged, in the past.
“Good luck,” Jake said and left the office whistling.
Next morning she arrived at the Henderson Hotel early and found Chase on the phone. His blue eyes met her brown ones and hypnotized her. Neither looked away as he continued his conversation. The calm velvet-edged voice lulled her into a peaceful place where memories surfaced. They had met ten years earlier when both were working on the same job. When their gazes met across the rectangular table, she fell in love. Never before had love at first sight meant anything to Meggie, but once Chase Montgomery entered the picture her feelings changed. Once he spoke, her heart latched on to every word. Hours seemed like minutes; months like days. Rarely were they separated. “Perhaps that’s what went wrong.”
The memories settled back to the deep recesses of her mind. After another glance she turned and focused on the ramshackled hotel that had stood in Granite Falls for 100 years. Meggie ran her long slender fingers over the ornate woodwork and eyed the tattered Oriental rug. Laughter and big-band music filled the space.
“Do you hear them?” his soft voice whispered in her ear. His warm breath made her knees quiver and waves crashed in her stomach. All she did was nod. How easy to turn and place her hands on his muscular chest. She wanted, no needed, to feel his muscular arms around her. With a deep breath, she stepped away.
With a child-like enthusiasm he gave her a tour and went into detail his plans for renovating Henderson Hotel. Every word he spoke, every breath he took, drew her further into his world, again. Perhaps it was the warm blue eyes that illuminated everything he looked at. Or was it the large smile that still held a youthful quality? Whatever the reason, Meggie saw again, why she fell for him years ago. She shook her head, refusing to relive the past.
They were now in his makeshift office. “We always did make a great team,” he said, as he wrapped his fingers around her soft shoulder. Electricity raced through her body as if she had touched a high voltage wire.
“Except outside the office,” she mumbled, moving away from him.
“You aren’t still mad at me for going to Europe, are you?” he asked, now sitting beside her.
“No,” she stuttered, her face radiating heat. Chase brushed his hand against her cheek and she swatted it away.
“Yes, you are,” he said, laughing. “I went there on business.”
“Three years?” she said, now glaring at him.
He balked and sank deeper into his folding chair. Frown lines appeared on his forehead and she wanted to caress them, but danger lurked in that simple gesture. “Okay, so it wasn’t only business,” he finally said. “We needed a break.”
Words raced through Meggie’s mind, but she bit her lower lip until she tasted blood, to keep them inside. Never seemed the right time to tell Chase he needed to stay in Granite Falls. Was it fair? she asked herself. No, but neither was his leaving.
“It’s late,” she said latching the briefcase leaned against the chair. “Everything looks good. I’ll give Jake the go ahead to get started, unless there’s something else.” When he stared deep into her dark brown eyes, raw emotions took control. Breathing seemed unimportant. She longed for him to pull her to him and press those soft, sweet lips against hers.
Meggie leaned forward as did Chase. His breath mingled with hers, as if they were one. Reality played its own tune and pushed Meggie back. They were different people living different lives. Lives unable to blend.
As she stood, Meggie exhaled and refused to look at Chase. He made it impossible to forget the past and not think about a future with him. With a deep exhale, she left.
Streetlights illuminated the deserted sidewalks, as she wandered aimlessly towards her apartment on Fifth Street. Her studio apartment above the bookstore offered no solace either. Tonight was the first night in a long time that it seemed too quiet, too empty. To fill the void, Meggie turned on the radio. Each song reminded her of a candlelit dinner, a walk during the summer, a yellow rose Chase gave her on their second date, and many other memories. And then it came crashing down on the day he said good-bye. A simple word that offered far-reaching complications.
With that thought, she plopped onto the couch and sighed. Her arm rested against her forehead as she thought about the one reason Chase would have stayed. “But how could I tell him and have him stay for the wrong reason?” Pieces of her shattered heart broke away. “Perhaps I made the biggest mistake of my life.” After minutes of thought she shook her head. “No. I did the right thing by keeping my secret.”
Songs filtered throughout her mind over the next hour, bringing torment, but lack of energy made it impossible to move and turn the radio off. Would anything change the loneliness and emptiness that had taken her prisoner?
A knock at the door had her tumbling off the couch. “One minute,” she shouted and opened the door without looking through the peephole. “Chase,” she said and then gulped. “Why are you here?” She ran her long, slender fingers through her short, wavy hair trying to smooth it.
“You left your briefcase and blueprints.” His smile teased her and she swore her heart was mending.
“Thanks,” she said, pushing any positive thoughts out of her head. Silence mocked them. That same feeling you get when your see your ex for the first time with his new girlfriend; awkward moments all around. Except Chase came alone. Did he leave someone in Europe? Did someone come home with him? Meggie decided she did not want the answers. “Is there something else?”
“I thought we could catch up on old times.” He leaned against the doorway looking more handsome than ever. It would be easy to allow him in, but would they stop at conversation? Or would their past feelings reignite leading into a night of fiery passion? It was a chance she would refuse.
“It’s late, Chase. I’m tired.”
“Okay, then,” he said, sounding dejected. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With a shrug, he turned and shoved his hands into the pants pockets. Meggie watched him leave, her heart breaking with each of his steps. Though she tried to call to him, despair kept her voice silent. Hot tears streamed down her face. Without a second thought, she closed the door and watched any hopes of a future with Chase remain outside.
The next few days passed in a blur. Meggie focused energies on work, but standing beside Chase revived old feelings and created new ones. When their hands touched her heart beat faster. The way he looked at her and said her name made her insides dance. This new thing between them made no sense. Perhaps it was not supposed to, but Meggie did not want to live this way. She had to move beyond the past, but how? “Tell him the truth,” a voice resounded in her head. “No thanks,” she mumbled.
Meggie headed towards the ballroom to see what, if anything, could be saved. The chandelier still hung in the center of the room, the crystals cascading rainbows across the wooden floor. She envisioned Chase dressed in a tuxedo and she in a white gown. The orchestra played At Last and they waltzed around the dance floor with him professing his undying love to her. She did not know if she was dreaming, but she was now in Chase’s arms. Without a word, his lips found hers. The softness of his lips melted her and Meggie tried hard not to succumb to the passion. But it proved impossible.
She put her arms around his neck and returned his kisses with fervor. It was like they had never been separated for three years. Reality set in and Meggie moved her head with Chase’s lips settling on her cheek.
“Sorry,” she said and ran out of the hotel. The pressure of his lips remained on hers. Tears caressed her cheeks and Meggie breathed a sigh of relief once she reached her apartment.
When the sun rose and woke Meggie, she curled up deeper under her blankets and tried to shut out the world. Anger boiled inside when she thought about last night. His kisses were intoxicating and she wanted more. “No,” she said and pounded the bed with her fists. “It won’t work. Once he discovers the truth, we have no future.” She rolled over but stayed awake. “Not that we had a future anyway.”
She watched the sky turn ravishing shades of red and orange. The phone rang and she picked it up out of habit. “Hello,” she said with little enthusiasm.
“At least you’re alive,” Jake said. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Good try. Now tell me the truth.”
At time like this she despised her boss. His radar was beyond comprehension. “We kissed. Okay, there I said it. Chase and I kissed.”
“You don’t have to be angry about it. Unless it wasn’t any good.” Jake’s laughter filtered through the phone and it loosened Meggie up.
“It’s not that.” She sat up, letting her feet dangle over the edge of the bed. “It was like before he left.” Tears welled up forcing her to wait before speaking. Once composed, she said, “I can’t go back, Jake.”
“Then don’t. Start over.”
“How?”
“By telling him the truth.”
It is all she had considered last night. “I’ll think about it. Thanks, Jake for being a great friend and boss.”
“Remember that last part. Report to work tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir.” She hung up the phone with a laugh and got out of bed. After a shower she made a ham sandwich. As she readied to take the first bite the doorbell rang. “Coming,” she hollered.
“Chase,” she said, not too surprised to see him.
“Are you okay? You didn’t come to work nor did you call.”
“I’m fine,” she said looking away. Technically she was not fine. She harbored a secret that at any day would be found out and then what would happen. She kissed the man she once loved and realized she still loved him. But these were not words to speak to him, not yet. He still said nothing about his time in Europe. What if each step she took towards Chase meant one step closer to heartbreak again? Meggie refused to risk it. “I’ll be at work tomorrow. Good night.”
Chase stopped the door with his shoe. “I still know how to read you, Meggie Johnson. Last night shook you up and we need to talk.” And he barged in.
With a deep sigh, she closed the door but did not move. Chase stood in the middle of the room and took in the few pieces of furniture, the large mountain scape behind the overstuffed blue couch and all the family pictures in various frames around the room. “What’s going on with you and Jake?” he asked.
Meggie laughed. “Nothing. He’s my boss and a great friend. Hasn’t he mentioned Ellen, the landscape architect from Hayden? She’s supposed to help with our project. Why do you ask?”
“You two seem close, that’s all.” Chase saw the pictures on top of the entertainment center and moved closer. “She’s adorable,” he said, holding up a photograph. “She has your eyes.” Meggie stayed glued to the front door. Any minute now and the peace surrounding her would crash like a crystal vase. When the photograph shook in his hands, she braced herself by taking a deep breath and not exhaling.
“Who is this?” he said, now standing in front of her. The veins on his neck began to pop out. His face was beet red. “Who is this?” he demanded, thrusting the picture into her face.
“That’s Josie, your daughter.” Her voice remained quiet and she tried to avoid his eyes, but she yearned to know his feelings. Unreadable emotions filled his features. She gulped back tears and stared at her white socks.
“Did you know before I left?” he finally asked.
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” His eyes now held anger.
“Why? So you’d have the knowledge of leaving two people? Or worse, you staying here for the wrong reasons.” She exhaled. “I wanted you to stay because you loved me. Not out of obligation.”
Chase retreated to the entertainment center, and even though it was across the room, Meggie felt closed in. Even if they were on opposite sides of the ocean, it would not be enough distance. After he set the picture down, he moved stealthily towards Meggie. His formidable stare and stance made her balk. “You had no right to make that choice.” With the anger subsiding, his features took on a grayish color.
“Why did you come back?” she asked, quietly.
He ran his fingers through his short, dark brown hair. “I missed home. I missed you.” Chase backed away and now stood by the couch. “Did you really think I didn’t love you and wouldn’t love our child?”
Meggie’s heart finished breaking. The sincerity in his voice, the sadness filling each word told her she had made a mistake. But he had been so eager to leave and explore Europe. And one day he may have never forgiven her for that.
When he sat on the edge of the blue couch, Meggie moved to the rocking chair opposite the couch. The nights she had rocked Josie to sleep in this chair were too numerous to count. How she missed her little girl, but knew she was safe and loved. “You said we needed a break. I didn’t want to believe you, because I loved you with all of me. Being apart made me grow up, faster than I wanted too, but now I have a great job and a wonderful daughter. Thanks to you.” He looked up at her and a smile broke through the sadness. “You needed Europe, Chase. I didn’t see it then, but I do now. We would have ended up hurting each other more had you stayed. And Josie would have been affected. Right now, she’s too young to know much except pure happiness.”
“Where is she?” he asked.
“She’s in Pittsburgh with my sister and brother-in-law. I knew this project would take most of my time and it wasn’t fair to Josie to be with different babysitters each day and some times for fourteen hours a day. My sister watched her for the first two years but then they moved to Pittsburgh when her husband was promoted. It’s only three hours away and I go every weekend. And I talk to her every night before bedtime.”
“But how do you do it? How do you live here without her?”
“It’s not easy, but being a mother changes your attitude on life. You do difficult things for the welfare of your child.”
Chase hesitated and Meggie knew what he wanted to know, but refused to push him. He would ask when ready. Minutes passed in silence, but this time it was soothing. “Does she know about me?”
Meggie smiled from deep within. “Your picture is by her bed,” she said and sniffled. “I tell her how much I loved you and one day you two would meet.”
“Really?” he said, his eyes squinted in exasperation. “You weren’t trying to keep us apart?”
“No. Not telling you was the hardest decision I have ever made. Moments passed in which I didn’t care why you stayed, just so you stayed. But your dreams were set on Europe. How could I compete with that?” Meggie paused to wipe her cheeks dry. “Whenever you’re ready to meet her, let me know. Take time though, because once you meet Josie, your heart will be stolen.”
“What do we do now, Meggie?” His voice crackled.
“What do you want?” she finally said moving closer to him. When he looked at her she saw an emotion she had never seen in him—fear mixed with confusion.
“For years, I had my life mapped out,” he said. “It all is happening according to plan, except for you and me and now Josie.” He exhaled, his hands clasped between his knees. “I got scared, Meggie. It seemed too perfect…But now…why did I return?”
“Only you have that answer.” Meggie quietly left the room and went to her bedroom. She closed the door and rested her head against it. Answers were not revealing themselves tonight. When the front door clicked, she cried herself to sleep and dreamed about them being a happy family.
Though her body remained listless, she dragged herself out of bed and dressed. She reported to the Henderson Hotel for a meeting, but refused to stay late. Chase barely acknowledged her, yet she felt his weighted stare during the entire meeting. What was he thinking? Would he try to take Josie?
When the meeting was over, Meggie packed her briefcase and exited the office and then the hotel, without a word to anyone. The warm summer breeze blew through her short, wavy hair, but it did little to comfort her. Chase still knew how to read her, and it scared her beyond belief. Did he sense she dreamed about him every night and she still envisioned a future with him? But how was it possible with all they had done and said and those words never spoken?
The aroma of melted cheese and marinara sauce drew her to the Café 210. She took a seat on the patio and stared at the menu but never read it. When someone approached the table she said, “I’ll have a glass of iced tea please.”
The person never moved. “I said, I’ll have a glass of…” and she stopped when her gaze met his. “Hey, Chase.”
“I knew I’d find you here. You always craved mozzarella sticks after a long day. Good to know some things haven’t changed.” He tried sounding light-hearted, but there was too much between them now. Remembrances of the past left him sober.
“But we have,” she said, feeling misty. Silence loomed, shutting out all voices and music. Chase sat across from her, never speaking. After a few minutes his gaze met her gaze and the happy past returned as if it had never disappeared. She tried to shake it off, but he was too compelling and charming.
“Tell me about Josie,” Chase said, leaning forward as if wanting to capture every word and expression.
“She’s sweet-tempered. Her first word was ball. Her favorite color is yellow, and she has a stuffed turtle named Croaky. He goes everywhere with her.” In talking about their daughter, Meggie’s voice sang a happy tune, one that carried itself into Chase’s heart. His smile showed joy in hearing about his daughter.
“Josie’s hugs and kisses are the best, sweetest, most loving of any one,” Meggie continued. “I remember hearing women say, there’s nothing like the love of a child or the love for a child. Now I understand. You do anything for them, even spend days away from them.”
“But you don’t have to now.”
Meggie shook her head as she looked down. Chase reached across the table and took her hand. As their hands meshed, it reminded her of a warm, summer breeze.
“You asked why I returned. I had to know if we still had something. Yes, we are different, but I believe we can start anew and have a better, stronger love than before. We were young and innocent and explored love. Now we can share a deeper bond and have the family we always wanted.”
“What are you saying? You spent three years in Europe and now you’re back in small town U.S.A. What happens when you get the itch to return to the exotic life over there?”
“We all go. I want to share those experiences and places with you and Josie. Is that so hard to believe?”
Meggie shrugged. Were her ears deceiving her or was Chase actually saying he had come home for good and wanted her and his daughter in his life? I’m dreaming. That’s all this is.
“I know it’s hard for you to believe me, especially the way I left town. But you have to give me some credit. I did say good-bye in person.” His shoulders sank as he exhaled. “Meg, for three years I chased dreams, only to realize without you to share them with, they have no meaning. Can you forgive me for running scared? I don’t expect an answer today, but…” Chase knelt on one knee and opened a box. “Will you marry me?”
Meggie’s gaze fell upon the ring. Three birthstones, with Josie’s in the middle, lay against the black velvet lining. Only Chase would know the way to my heart and soul. “I thought you hated me.”
“Never. Angry, yes, but I realized in working with you, that I need and want you in my life. Do you know how difficult it was to not proclaim my love for you at the hotel? That’s why I said nothing. But I could not stop looking and hoping you would read my thoughts.” He took her hands. “Will you forgive this idiot and marry me?”
“Yes, I will marry you.”
Chase placed the ring on Meggie’s finger and then pulled her to him. “I never stopped loving you,” he whispered against her hair.
“Neither did I,” she said, nestling against his body. “At Last” played on the restaurant’s radio and they waltzed around the café. Without any words, they pulled apart and smiled. Their kiss transcended both time and space. Whistles and applause grabbed their attention.
“Now, there’s something else we have to do,” Chase said. “Let’s get our daughter.”
As they drove to Pittsburgh, joy filled Meggie’s body. Who knew that chasing dreams would land us in a reality far better than either of us imagined?
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